


Shinobi are those who endure (and endure, they will)

by DemonOfTheBattlefield



Category: Naruto
Genre: Baki was right, Ficlet, Founders Era, Gen, Hashirama didn't sign up for this, List graciously compiled by Tobirama, Neither Madara, No Susano'o no Mangekyo no Gumbai in the meeting room, Not R-rated because Madara wasn't allowed to be himself, Seriously the Leaf Village risks not being founded at this rate, The Daimyos are morons, Who is now praying for Konoha's fate, diplomatic mission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-28 20:16:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20431829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemonOfTheBattlefield/pseuds/DemonOfTheBattlefield
Summary: Mokuton, "God of Shinobi", "The maker of the first peaceful world anyone could remember", but oh he still sucked at diplomacy.Hashirama sighs.It'll be a long negotiation, he knows.





	Shinobi are those who endure (and endure, they will)

Hashirama took him aside literally the instant when the Daimyo's brother left them. Blessedly. That man was an eyesore, that's true, but... Madara! Their chance of a fair treaty could've just been thrown out the window! Which was exactly what Madara had threatened the man with but that's beyond the point now.

"Madara, you can't say those things to people' faces!" he freaked out the moment they were alone in the middle of the hallway, interrupting his obvious retort as soon as the Uchiha opened his mouth. "Expecially _because_ they are true!"  
"So, you do admit they are a bunch of incompetent, selfish picks?" Madara yelled, or at least as yelling as the shushed conspiratorial tone allowed him. Sometimes glaring at the back of the daimyo just to emphasize his point.  
Hashirama rubbed at his own temples.  
"You are a considerate person at your core, Madara, I know it. Abrasive sometimes, but still kind" he started, tired, batting around the bush, praying everyone above for the very pissed Madara to see some sense. Gods probably hated him, because he simply stared back at him in his unique brand of the "no bullshit" glare.

"Don't you think that you should treat them with a bit, a little bit of more love? Just once?" he tried, scratch that, pleaded, his tone gentle and, he had to admit, maybe vagueeely patronizing. He was on the verge of neurosis right now, after a whole day of negotiations. Fruitless, at that. He really did not need Madara of all people for himself to become more frustrated.  
But he really had better remembered that his talk no jutsu never stood a chance when it came to the Uchiha clanhead. Only time he managed it, Hashirama almost gutted himself in the process and this, still _after_ a whole day spent trying to take him down.  
He could've felt Madara's judgmental eyebrow even with his eyes closed by now. It was only a matter of time before that short-tempered man snapped.

"Oh, but I'm dying of love for them! There's nothing now that I'd love more than roasting those aristocrats with a Katon and then kick them in the ass until some brains'll finally grace us by growing in that moronic head of theirs. Practically, I am not living out of oxygen anymore, only of love"  
He spat that word like it was the most obnoxious insult he could come up with. And trust Hashirama, Madara could be very imaginative when it served him.  
The other men were still in the room drinking their tea and chatting about... Never mind, it meant he had still time to salvage the day. And their sorry Shinobi asses.  
Mainly them.  
So, Hashirama, think!

"I'm not sure love's supposed to work like that, Madara" he said, starting with a diplomatic approach. A burning Sharingan stare was the only answer he got.

Mokuton, God of Shinobi, The maker of the first peaceful world anyone could remember, but oh he still sucked at diplomacy. Hashirama sighed. It'd be a long negotiation, he was sure of it.  
And it was only the FIRST meeting with the daimyo's council.  
He had even the hunch that Madara was being difficult on purpose, at this point. There was absolutely no need to scare the living daylights out of the Daimyo family just because he thought that an aggravated Senju and a bunch of cowered nobles was funny. Not when the only obstacle between them and the realization of their dream was those same nobles' _damned approval_. Thanks gods, he didn't bring his weapons at the meeting. Madara was very aware that he was standing at mere inches from fucking up their not-yet-born village but, at the end of the day, he always was the type to dance too much near the fire.  
He sighed... Madara smirked.  
He didn't survive the war for this, he thought, for the first in a painfully long list of times. 

"Senju sama, Uchiha sama, come and talk with us, will you?" it came the loud voice of the Daimyo from the room nearby. Hashirama would deny it to the day he died, but he freezed in the middle of the hallway. Madara, too, but he always was the quickest to hide his reactions. They both schooled their expression with a huge deal of benevolence -for Madara, though, he still looked like he wanted to set them on fire- and entered the room to start business again.

"Shinobi-sama, that village you want to build to stop your feud or something will have a hot spring system like that in our illustrious capital?" asked the Daimyo after they took a seat.

There was a full minute of foreboding silence. Even the crickets didn't dare making a sound.  
...

They stared ... And blinked  
...  
...

They were kidding 'em? Really?  
THAT was all they got from hours of painstaking diplomacy?!  
Hashirama felt his eye twitch without control. It was even more annoying with the I-told-you-so look he could swore was on Madara's face now. Unsurprisingly, the Uchiha's grin got sharper.

"Of course, my lord, there would be. I would take care of keeping the water temperature just fine personally. With my Katon" he answered, sentence perfectly crafted to seem polite and appropriate, while simultaneously hoping for his sarcasm to kill the idiots before Amaterasu did. Plus, he actually managed to keep a blank face, with the sole purpose to spectacularly grate on Hashirama's nerves.  
Really, making fun of the Senju's misery was the only thing preventing him from Susano'oing their useless arses to the afterlife.  
And from what he could see, even Hashirama's perennial, hippie and all forgiving, facade was starting to twitch.

Well, he _loved_ diplomacy. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! This is my first fic for this Archive and I'm really happy. A fanfiction in English, at that, which is already an accomplishment to me, given that English is not my mother language. I hope you liked it!  
To be honest, the idea for this was born weeks ago, accidentally, when I was bored and read a funny Italian meme. How exactly it came to this is still beyond me ahahah.  
Nothing, it's all university's fault. Next week, I have a Latin exam to pass! A Naruto Fanfiction seemed a good idea at the time. Well, too late now.  
Thanks for reading this and I really wish it made you smile!  
Kudos and comments would really make me overjoyed =)  
Goodbye!


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